Have you ever felt constricted by social norms and structures? Written or unwritten rules? Moral or ethical codes you learned in your childhood? A way of thinking that has been guiding you your whole life but might not be guiding you towards happiness?
I have felt all of them. So, what can you do about it? Question it. Start questioning the belief system you grew up with. Is it still serving me? Is it leading me to my happiness and highest good? And if the answer is no, then start breaking down the framework; when you are ready. On your own or with the help of a counsellor or therapist. Friends and relationships can also be immensely valuable in questioning the way you think and operate. Close relationships can be particularly helpful because they hold a mirror for us. We see ourselves in that mirror and whatever we don’t like to see or pushes our buttons are areas we need to deal with.
Once you start questioning the belief system, first you may feel an immense sense of liberation and freedom. Then, confusion can set in and you ask yourself: okay, but where do I go from here? Your intuition and inner wisdom know the direction. You are self-identifying and building yourself. This takes time. When you reach a state where you can make your own decisions, you feel good about them, you don’t feel any shame, guilt or fear that you are not following the “rules”, you are not swayed by other people’s opinions because it doesn’t matter that much anymore, then you know you have arrived somewhere.
This place still respects family, relationships, friendships, propriety, social norms and ethics but this place is authentic. This is You. You have shattered the old framework, identified and built your new Self. You feel good about who you have become. And you are harmonizing with your environment and surroundings.
People will feel the change in you. They will start asking questions because first they may not recognize this new, strong, authentic You.
When you find your Self, temporarily you may feel alone or not supported by your immediate environment. But you will soon find your community because you will attract it, and the universe will bring those people into your life who will make you feel amazing and loved, who will validate the journey for you, and you will feel that the whole process was totally worth it.
What is the secret to all this? I think it is time, courage and patience. Destructing a belief system and building a new one does not happen overnight. It takes time to go through the process but when you start going with the flow as your authentic self, things will start falling into place. Like magic. Then you will feel that nothing is out of place, everything is happening for a reason, and everything is happening for You.
